October is also Domestic Violence Awareness month and I would be remised if I didn’t use my voice to speak up for the women who continue to remain vocally crippled from speaking out against DV and physically paralyzed from exiting dangerously abusive situations.
I would like to take this moment to be transparent. I was once that woman with no voice; my vocal ability had been impeded by two hands wrapped around my neck, literally. I have been choked, I’ve had my head slammed on floors, on walls, I’ve had my hair pulled out, I’ve had heavy objects thrown at me, I’ve been scratched, pushed and over powered. I’ve had that same wrist I shared about a month back, twisted to the point where my abuser said he was trying to break it. I use to have bruises so bad that I had to wear long sleeves and high necked shirts in 80 degree weather. I feared for my life. But fearing for my life wasn’t enough. I remember telling one of my best male friends “If I come up missing, please tell my parents who did this”, as if having those conversations weren’t enough.
I remember my last encounter very vividly. It was roughly 3 am, I was pushed so hard in an open field that I fell to the ground, as he told me he was going to catch a charge for "killing a bitch tonight”. I believed him and I knew with certainty he was capable of doing it. Those words pierced my inner most being. It was then that reality crystalized for me and I knew in that very moment, if I couldn’t find the courage and strength to leave this situation for good, my parents would be eulogizing my funeral, closing their 25 year old daughter in a casket.
I am the face of Domestic Violence and I share my story to open minds from judgment, to show that Domestic Violence has no face or educational background. Most sincerely, I share my story in hopes to inspire those who are silently suffering, to show them that there are beautiful new beginnings awaiting those who seek escape. Please I beg of you, find the courage to use your voice.
If you or someone you know are a victim of Domestic Violence, please call National Domestic Violence Hotline. If you don’t have the tools to plan a safe exit, they can help you. 1−800−799−SAFE(7233)